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Outclass the Competitioin
by Harold Almon 512-821-2699
The line to the bathroom is to be used to lead people to the best looking bathroom in the house by the most direct route. A bathroom can be used before one comes to the table. It may be used after ordering a drink at any place serving as a bar. The trip can begin with the statement, “I’II be right back,” or with the question, “Where can I wash my hands,” after reading any reusable menu. Expect a visit to station six: the bathroom. At a banquet, during the intermission, this is where you can take that five to ten minute break. It could be used to allow each person to make repairs to body, mind, and/or make up, to check nails, and to mark cards. In a private home, upon entering the bathroom 1. Lock the door. If you are modest, (or well bred,) you can turn on the water. 2. While inside, strive to eliminate any odor not considered desirable. You can light a single sulfur match (if anyone still has them.) Blow it out. Hold it until the smoke dissipates and then deposit it in an ashtray or in the toilet and flush. You may search for and use an air freshener to spray the water in a short burst. (Yes, it works.) I hide it at the back of the toilet. Spray the water and then under the seat. You could spray it with a breath spray, or add a drop or two of cologne or a few drops of liquid soap. Then flush again. The room will smell better. You might then spray the air. Hands are to be washed each time after finishing in the bathroom. Turn on the faucet at least once while in the bathroom. Wet the soap, if only to make someone believe that before leaving you really did wash your hands and that you do deserve to eat off of china plates. It is easier just to really do it. 1. Wash your hands with cold water and soap. (It releases the grease and the soap.) 2. Turn off the water. You can wipe out the sink using toweling or toilet tissue: watch the shine! Place trash in a receptacle, and leave the bathroom ready to receive the next person. Bless you. On the way out of the bathroom, there are things you can do 1. Look for a body or hand lotion. Use some: on your face, lips and hands. 2. Check the mirror. Look at your nose. Then look at your mouth and teeth. Check for particles of foodstuff. 3. Look for that wrapped toothpick. Use it. You can carry a travel toothbrush, and plan for a way to brush your teeth after you eat, with or without paste. 4. Look for a dish of wrapped signature candy. Have one. 5. Look for a single rose or flower taken from the centerpiece. Smell it. 6. Take time to look at each candle lit and floating in a tub. This can be both safe and look awesome. 7. O.K., it is time to leave, back to your dinner table. Note: The bathroom is the only room in which you get to be alone. It is where you get to inspect the environment and make decisions about the host from a sitting position. There are nineteen things you can place in a bathroom for someone else. Remember this when you get home. Note: This page is a breach of etiquette: “What is done behind the door of a bathroom is private.” Yes, it is, until another person is listening or enters the room. In a commercial environment, when an attendant is present, services are to be used and tipped.
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